In the news, a man now has a new jaw from an experimental transplant operation - news item
The jaw was grown just beneath the paitent's shoulder blade.
So would this be the first guy to talk behind his own back?
In the news, Israel has developed a non-lethal weapon for riot-control - a "skunk bomb"
a weapon that really stinks.
A scientist suggests that there is "Life on Mars, but we sent it." - News item
"After testing whether terrestrial organisms can survive simulated Martian conditions and the procedures used to sterilise spacecraft, he reckons there is a good chance some made it to Mars and might still be living there."
Kinda like finding out your fancy French wine came from a vine transplanted from New Jersey.
A leading astronomer is predicting the question if there's anyone out there will be answered "Within 20 Years" - News item
"If Intelligent life exists elsewhere in our galaxy, advances in computer processing power and radio telescope technology will ensure we detect their transmissions within two decades. That's the bold prediction from ... Seth Shostak, the SETI Institute's senior astronomer, based his prediction on accepted assumptions about the likelihood of alien civilisations existing, combined with projected increases in computing power."
Question is, would anyone out there see us as inteligent life if all they detected from us was "reality TV"
from Freaking News
Billy Bang - An amusing little game where you can shootup the saloon or make this cowpoke dance.
from IBLaffing
With "Doom 3" just released and selling well, the original is about ten years old and gamers talk about fond memories of the original - Remembering Doom
With gated communities and ritalyn replacing swiming holes and clubhouses, it seems our best childhood memories are "DOOMed."
In the news, a hotel tycoon is making plans to one day build an establishment in space: news item
One can just see the ads ...
"Take your honey to the moon, for your honeymoon."
In the news, a meteorite crashes through a man's roof
"Why couldn't those darn astronauts have brought it down in the shuttle rather then just drop it?"
In the news, a teenager was struck by lightning while using a computer.
Rumor has it a friend was in a nearby room, rushed to the scene, and shouted:
"Whoah Dude! That musta been some awesome porno, man!
.....
If Abbott and Costello were still around today their famous sketch "Who's on first?" might have turned out something like this....
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT . . .
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
.....
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, lets just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?
ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.
COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I watch them?
ABBOTT: Of course.
COSTELLO: Great! With what?
ABBOTT: Real One.
.....
COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?
ABBOTT: You click the blue "1".
COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
ABBOTT: The blue "1".
COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?
ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows"!
ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
COSTELLO: It is?
ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.
COSTELLO: And that word is real one?
ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office.
COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
.....
A FEW DAYS LATER . . . . . . . .
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on "START"..........
by IBlaffing
I was a computer savvy student, so the high school librarian called me to her office complaining of a computer crash. While booting up the computer, I asked her what she had done immediately prior to the crash.
"I just erased some files that were taking up memory space," she replied matter-of-factly. "There was one big one that the Spanish teacher, Se–orita Dobias, must have put on there. I think it was called DOS."
from topgreetings.com
In the news, NASA has a nuclear-powered spaceship in the drawing board - News Item
"Prometheus originally was conceived as a revamped package under NASA's Nuclear Systems Initiative. It was intended to develop and flight-demonstrate an advanced, atomic-powered space vehicle. The vehicle, which NASA prefers not to call a rocket -- rather, a nuclear electric propulsion system -- might be able to triple the speed at which spacecraft travel beyond the Earth."
Not call it a rocket? Being nuke powered, how about a "hot rod?"
Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about".
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
from topgreetings.com
Scientists Decode the First Low-Frequency Radio Waves From an Alien Civilization Ever to Reach Earth...
Simply send 6 x 10 to the 50 atoms of Hydrogen to the Star System at the top of the list, cross off that star system, then put your Star System at the bottom of the list and send it to 100 other Star Systems. Within one-tenth of a Galactic Rotation you will receive enough hydrogen to power your civilization until entropy reaches maximum! IT REALLY WORKS!
from Clean Laffs
The "JibJab" brothers of internet fame who recently hit it big with a political parody of "This Land is Your Land" are being hit with a lawsuit from the owners of the tune's rights.
"This song is OUR song ..."