Memorial Day Special
Not very scifi or computerish, but appropriate for Memorial Day. - a submarine story.
The "Optical Camouflage Cloak, aka the "Invisibility Suit" from Tachi Labs, has been making the news a little. - News Item.
One could certainly have a lot of fun with it in a college girls' locker room ...
But with the "War on Terror" so often fought in the shadows, it would be the perfect thing for soldiers in covert operations.
"Good evening Mr. Bin-Laden, any last words?"
"More Flaws Found in Microsoft Security - Outtakes."
from Freaking News
Computer Novice
Computer novices may feel like they're alone these days, but the following call to IBM's help center show there are plenty of people out there who still are inching onto the information superhighway.
After a caller gave a technician her PC's serial number, he scanned a database of registered users and responded, "I see you have an Aptiva" desktop unit.
Before he could say another word, the caller shrieked and said she'd be right back. When the customer returned, the technician asked if she was all right. The caller responded:
"Had I realized you could see me, I never would haveÊ telephoned wrapped in a towel."
from IBLaffing
Does Gillette spy on its customers using tracking chips?
Somehow, I think the payoffs will be, "razor thin"
from the Daily Illuminator
After a writer had gone through over 40 rejections over his book, he staged an eleborate stunt involving what he called a 100 year old fake dragon. news item
That's one way to keep the publishers from "draggin' "
James Doohan, noted for his role as Scotty in Star Trek, is making what is billed as his last convention apperance. - news item
"Beam me up Scotty, One Last Time"
In the "Church of Fools" virtual church, things in the first Sunday of operation were going smoothly until the minister's computer chrashed and his alter-ego in the online world vanished. - site article
Guess one could call it a "virtual rapture."
"This dud videogame is about as fun as watching grass grow."
from topgreetings.com
In 1959, a project was started to launch a satelite into space to test Einstein's theory of relativity. The satelite was finally launched in April 20th, 2004 - News Item.
Already, it's demonstrated how long things can linger in the bowels of a beaucracy.
In the news, The Mexican Air Force released pictures of what possibly might be UFOs - News item
"We'll assume they're not here for the water."
A science article says the unique sound of Stratavarius violins may be due to the Sun - News Item.
Although it's been long believed the violin maker used a secret ingredient in the varnish, "Scientists from Columbia and Tennessee universities in the US say the Sun's declining output at that time resulted in colder winters and cooler summers. This produced slower tree growth which in turn led to denser wood with superior acoustical properties - circumstances not repeated since."
Strange how less light made for a sunny day for music.
When I was a kid adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up.
What with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning uphill both ways through year 'round blizzards carrying their younger siblings on their backs to their one-room schoolhouse where they maintained a straight-A average despite their full-time after-school job at the local textile mill where they worked for 35 cents an hour just to help keep their family from starving to death!
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up there was no way I was going to lay that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!
But....
Now that I've reached the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.
You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today don't know how good you've got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the library and look it up ourselves!
And there was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter, with a pen! And then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!
And there were no MP3s or Napsters! If you wanted to steal music, you had to go to the record store and shoplift it yourself! Or, we had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and mess it all up!
You want to hear about hardship?
We didn't have fancy stuff like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal!
And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was, it could be your boss, your Mom, a collections agent, you didn't know!!!
You just had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
And we didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation videogames with high-resolution 3-D graphics!
We had the Atari 2600! With games like "Space Invaders" and "Asteroids"! Your guy was a little square! You had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever!
And you could never win, the game just kept getting harder and faster until you died!
Just like LIFE!
When you went to the movie theater, there was no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy sat in front of you, you watched his hairstyle!
And sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 20 channels and there was no onscreen menu! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on!
And there was no Cartoon Network! You could only get cartoons on Saturday morning... D'ya hear what I'm saying!?!
We had to wait ALL WEEK!
That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled!
You guys wouldn't last five minutes back in 1984!
from "Clean Laffs"
In the news, a teen suspected of making the Sasser worm has been caught.
The 18 year-old was arrested in the German town of Rottenburg.
"Rotten" in more ways than one.
"Flying saucers in Iran - more outakes"
from Freaking News
In the news, there's a new computer virus going around - "Sasser"
This virus is particuarly insidious, instead of being spread through email.
"Sasser" is one "sassy" virus.
In the news, " Labs say they have nearly all the tools needed to create artificial life"
Let's hope the scientists involved actually have a life before starting it.
"I shouldn't have stayed up to wait for that file to finish downloading"
In my job as an electronics salesman, I've seen the rise in popularity of sport-utility vehicles and minivans, which has created a market for rear-seat entertainment. Monitors that keep passengers occupied with movies and television have been selling like crazy.
One day as I was showing a young couple how a monitor could play videos, DVD's, and even pick up local TV stations, the husband asked matter-of-factly, "Does it get cable?"
from "Clean Laffs"
In the news, Flying Saucer Fever Grips Iran
"Oh great, now THEY want our oil!"