Dracula bought a computer so he could keep track of all his victims.
Never were the terms 'Mega-bite' and 'Mega-hurts' so appropriate.
by "Spudley," badpuns.com
In the news, field biologists found a purple frog - News Item
Let's hope they don't find a purple dinosaur.
"Scientists say people could live active lives for hundreds of years if humans follow the same biological rules as laboratory worms. By carefully tweaking genes and hormones, scientists extended the lifespan of the tiny roundworm Caenorhabditis elegans six times. In human terms, the worms stayed healthy and active for 500 years." - News Item
"But many people might find the price of immortality a little high. The worms with the longest lifespans also had their reproductive systems removed."
So basically, the price for living many lifetimes is what for some people is their only reason for living.
While trying to explain to our six-year-old daughter how much technology had changed, my husband pointed to our brand-new personal computer and told her that when he was in college, a computer with the same amount of power would have been the size of a house.
Wide-eyed, our daughter asked, "How big was the mouse?"
from Clean Laffs
The ORIGINAL Illustrated Catalog of ACME Products
from the Daily Illuminator
This weekend, Earth has been hit my a magnetic storm from a Solar flare, causing some disruption of electric power and communications - News Item
And so, requests for oldies radio stations to play, "Here Comes the Sun" have droped.
Q: How can you tell if a Redneck is Working in your Office?
A: The monitor is up on blocks.
Clean Laffs
"Calorie-packed fast food encourages over-eating and weight gain because it is out of step with human evolution, scientists have said." - News Item
"They pointed out that humans are designed for conditions in which food is relatively scarce and low in energy.
"But fast food from take-aways and convenience stores is typically energy dense. You do not need to eat much of it to consume a lot of calories."
So do we have the biggest "Darwin Award" in history?
"Writing in the journal Nature Materials they describe a drug-containing microchip which can be implanted in the body." - News Item
This then releases the medication slowly so the patient no longer has to take any pills."
For the pharmecutical industry, that may be a real "pill" to swallow.
"Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded."
Tim Allen - from topgreetings.com
In the news, agricultural scientists in Africa are trying to develop a type of corn high in beta-carotine to help combat eye problems from nutritional problems.
A case of ears good for the eyes.
"With the kind of shape I'm in you could donate my body to science fiction!"
Rodney Dangerfield in BACK TO SCHOOL - from Clean Laffs
Today at work I was moving a computer system and listening to the conversation at the point of sale. A customer had brought his caller ID box back into the store and was rather irritably asking for a refund, as the device didn't work.
The customer service rep had taken it out of the box and was making sure that the customer had attached it to his phone properly. During her demonstration of the proper way to hook up the gadget, she removed the static cling label off the front, which showed a sample caller ID screen on it.
It was difficult for her to maintain a straight face as the customer realized the reason the numbers on the front never changed . . .
Topgreetings.com
Recently we called a business phone number and heard the following: "If you are calling from a touch-tone phone, press one now. If you are calling from a rotary phone, hang up and call back from a touch-tone phone."
Clean Laffs