In the news, the Chinese government enacted a law to ban lewd text messages
Question is, as text messages are hard enough for most native English readers, how are these guys going to enforce it?
In the English city of Durham, a pub owner built a special urinal (the city agreed to pay for maintenance) that looks like a manhole in the sidewalk, until the press of a button results in it being hydraulicly raised from underground - News item.
Here's one "pop-up" that no one seems to mind.
In the news, a Japanese company is marketing a Upscale Hi-tech toilet.
Even though you don't have to worry about sitting on an ice-cold surface, at $2700 it still feels like flushing your money down it.
In the news, the American Technology Corporation is developing Sonic non-lethal weapon using "bullets" of sound.
The company also makes some of those massive "woofers" known for blasting out rap music out of car radios, which should give some idea where the idea for the weapon came from.
from the "Daily Illuminator"
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"It's quite apparent he's a porn site addict .."
Drug trafficers speeding across the waves with impunity? Arms smugglers sneaking their way across waters? Fear no more. To help the police at sea - Roboshark
"I'm taking you in, dead." *CHOMP*
from Kathy
"I was thinking about how the status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped on. I can't afford one so I'm wearing my garage door opener."
from Clean Laffs
In the news, White House e-mail is supposedly getting less "user friendly."
In this day and age, it's fairly obvious what being asked if you are "offering a 'supporting comment' or a 'differing opinion' to President Bush" means about your chances of it getting read.
from "Scam-O-Rama," one of the "Nigerian Letter" thieves ends up a victim of his own scam.
from the Daily Illuminator
In the news,the first tounge transplant.
"Buth thah ah sahm sahde affahcts."
"FIFTY WAYS TO KILL AN ENSIGN"
The problem is something 'bout your clothes, she said to me
The red shirt and the stripeless sleeves yell, "I'm Security!"
And when you get down planet-side with Kirk, you'll get to see
There must be fifty ways to kill an ensign
He takes a landing party down to find what's going on
A couple of the bridge crew, and some extras come along
And then before you know it - the `expendables' are gone
There must be fifty ways to kill an ensign
Fifty ways to kill an ensign
Just step on a rock, Jock
Get thorns from some plants, Lance
A Horta can spray, Ray
Just listen to me
Clouds drink up your blood, Bud
Computers can kill, Bill
You could lose all your salt, Walt
Kirk gets away free...She said it grieves me so to see you with such nerves
Not ev'ryone who goes with Kirk will suffer from this curse
But then of course, you must recall - they sometimes suffer worse
There must be fifty ways to kill an ensign
Just tell him, "I'm not stupid and I'm not expendable
I'm not going!" Tell him that he's a Denebian slime devil
And he's overbearing, swaggering, and dictatorial
He'll find a new way to kill an ensign
Fifty-one ways to kill an ensign
from Joel Polowin
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RPG antics - the "Gazebo incident"
A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains.
She tells the salesman:
"I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen."
The surprised salesman replies:
"But, madam, computers do not have curtains!!!"
....And the blonde said:
"Helloooo....? I've got Windows"!!!
from top-greetings.com
by Alqua Kalina
Recently in the news, Hackers have been secretly hijacking PCs for secret porno distribution - News Item
One can just imagine countless husbands showing this news article to their wives, "See! See! That's where all that stuff came from - I swear!"
According to a news article, major brands of computer ink cost more per liter than champagne - News Item
"Would Monseiour like ah Colour for Imahgewritair 1500?"
"Even Google has problems finding 'weapons of mass destruction' " - news artilcle
from Jon Grizz
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"You know you work to much when ..."
Scam-O-Rama - "Setting aside the writer's attempt to rob you and (going through the mental contortions necessary to take the letter at face value) to steal from his own country, the letters are funny. Read them out loud at parties and see."
"A widely publicised hacking contest which encouraged vandals to deface websites has ended without causing serious trouble. " - News Item
"Early reports suggested that the event could disrupt the net for many users but Sunday passed with little incident." ... In fact, "One of the few casualties of the event was the independent website recording the sites that the hackers did manage to deface."
Honor among thieves, but none among hackers?
Tech Support Computer Confusion
A woman called the Cannon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asker her if she was "running it under Windows." The woman then responded, "NO, my desk is next to the door. But that's a good point... The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his is working just fine."
from the Webmaster's Mom
Another Mars probe left Earth yesterday, and "Like the first Mars rover, the new one will land not using descent rockets, but giant airbags." - News Item
This way, no more 'meters or feet' jokes.
"Annoyed by the prospect of a massive new federal surveillance system, two researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology are celebrating the Fourth of July with a new Internet service that will let citizens create dossiers on government officials." News Item
"The system will start by offering standard background information on politicians, but then go one bold step further, by asking Internet users to submit their own intelligence reports on government officials -- reports that will be published with no effort to verify their accuracy. ... 'It's sort of a citizen's intelligence agency,' said Chris Csikszentmihalyi, assistant professor at the MIT Media Lab."
Nothing like poetic justice.
In the news, there's a hacker contest going on this week at www.defacers-challenge.com - News Item
It's notable that sites created under Windows count as 1 point while those under Macintosh are 5.
Guess we're a harder nut to hack. ;-)
.....
With kids spending so much time on computers, some teachers worry cursive writing will die out - News Article
"The kids themselves are LOL"
from fark.com
"Mandarin speakers use more areas of their brains than people who speak English, scientists say, in a finding that provides new insight into how the brain processes language." News Item
Apparently, this is why "Dumb and Dumber" was a bigger hit than "Crouching Tiger," the brains of the mass media's main audience had to work less.
In a lawsuit, Activision says the producers behind Star Trek are saying they're killing it by "running Enterprise into the ground" - News Item.
Regrettably, Activision's suit is to cancel it's business deal, not to force the producers to get better directors.
Hopefully, Trek fans won't one day have to say, "It's dead, Jim."
News item and punchline from Alqua Kalina
Among the items delivered by the cargo rocket that recently arrived at the space station, recordings of "frog music." - News Item
"Psychologists working with the Russian and U.S. space agencies say the sounds of nature will relax the crew and help them cope with the six-month stint in space"
Guess they were afraid the boredom would make them croak.
"A new theory proposes early humans evolved smooth skin compared to our furry ape cousins to show they were not infested with blood-sucking insects." News Article
One can just imagine the rejection lines by cavewomen - "I'm sorry Ug, but that fur coat of yours really bugs me."
A "home handyman" from New Zeland "is building a missile in his garage with parts bought over the internet and shipped through Customs." - Kiwi Builds own Cruise Missile
There's one item we better not see on E-bay.