In my job with a credit union, I often run across accounts that are protected by password.
The credit-union member, when withdrawing funds, must produce identification and then give the password to the teller.
Recently, when I asked a woman for her password, she sighed, rolled her eyes and replied, "Save."
I was puzzled until she explained, "My husband used that pass- word so I'd have to say it every time I make a withdrawal."
from Clean Laffs
.....
"Music is now not just a packaged commodity to be bought with well-earned pocket money on a Saturday morning, but a 24-hour service, available free from hundreds of online sources at the touch of a mouse, albeit illegally. ... And when a self-confessed 'accused, international internet pirate,' such as Wayne Rosso, head of file-sharing firm Grokster is invited to a conference hosted by the Financial Times, then it would seem the music industry's greatest bete noir has definitely gone mainstream." - News Item.
"The music industry is alienating its own customers, Mr Rosso told delegates at the conference."
It certainly has been striking some sour notes lately.
Hackers on Thursday replaced the Arabic network Al-Jazeera website with an American Flag and the message "Let Freedom Ring." - News Item.
"Oh the Yanks are coming ...", yanking media coverage a little too chummy to Soddomy Insaine that is.
"Al Gore, former U.S. vice president and Democratic presidential candidate, has joined the board of Apple Computer Inc., maker of the sleek Macintosh line of personal computers, the company said on Wednesday." - News Item
.And Core-Republican MacAddicts everywhere scream, "Noooooooo....."
When 'Google' Bends Over Backwards.
from Lera
.....
A popup my friends have been sending me lately.
Has anyone noticed red everywhere among humans is considered a color of warning? Stop signs, traffic stoplights, the tail brakelights of cars, all red. Perhaps that people bleed red has a lot to do with it.
Now consider that some aliens in science fiction have green blood. What would traffic be like on, say, the homeworld of the Romulians of "Star Trek?"
"Hey! You ran a green light you ^^&*&^ !!!"
Computer game makers say the war in Iraq will not affect their immediate future - News Item
Nor are there plans yet for "Take Two Productions" to do a sequel for it's hit game "Conflict: Desert Storm."
.....
Is mass electronic messaging getting to you? Join the Revolt against Junk mail
"When you put your cans, bottles and newspapers out for recycling, make sure you put your Dell PCs in a separate pile. " Dell has arranged a computer-recylcing program, at $15 for up to 50 lbs. of equipment, in order to deal with potentially hazzardous materials. - News Item.
So what's the slogan? "Dude! You can recycle your Dell!"
"Fifty years to the day from the discovery of the structure of DNA, one of its co-discoverers has caused a storm by suggesting that stupidity is a genetic disease that should be cured." - News Item.
Presumably, he means something other than the "cure" for too much stupidity on "darwinawards.com".
Article found on "Daily Illuminator."
A Japanese scientist has invented something he claims allows you to understand what dogs are "saying," the Bow-lingual
Toymaker Takara says its canine translator can decipher those unintelligible barks and growls as human emotions and even tell whether a dog's day was good or bad.
Some think the invention is neat. Others think he's gone to the dogs.
.....
Are you always coming up short of excuses? Try the Random Excuse Machine
The world's first brain prosthesis - an artificial hippocampus - is about to be tested in California. Unlike devices like cochlear implants, which merely stimulate brain activity, this silicon chip implant will perform the same processes as the damaged part of the brain it is replacing - News Article
Talk about computers on your mind
article from Daily Illuminator
Remember the Russian space shuttle Buran (Snowstorm)? After the first flight, it never flew again as the project was severely cut, and eventually canceled.
"The reasons of this cancellation were probably economic. The manufacturing plant is scheduled to be converted for production of buses, syringes, and diapers."
From space shuttles to diapers? How the mighty have fallen.
"People will soon be able to surf the internet from the comfort of their local pub as wireless hotspots reach out to the country's favourite location." - Wireless net offered with a pint.
But when they have one too many, will they start going to sites they wouldn't think of when sober, and one look by the town blabermouth is all it takes ...
Don't drink and netsurf.
Freudian slip? Is that a woman shrink's undergarment?
.....
A sign you've been using the computer too long ...
With seven probes planed for Mars in Jan 2004, some in NASA ar wondering if they will all be able to send messages back at the same time - News Item .
So when a probe decides to "phone home" from Mars, it may get, "We're sorry, we are unable to complete your call ..."
If AOL Was A City!!!
1. You'd live in a place where no two people had the same name.
2. You'd only pay $21.95 a month to live there, but half the time you tried to leave your house, the door would be stuck.
3. Once you got outside, even if you were in a hurry, you'd be assaulted by slimy little door-to-door sales creeps offering you great AOL 14.4 modems for only $399.99.
4. The commute to work is just a double-click away, but every time you try to leave your driveway, the flow of traffic knocks you back into your yard.
5. The local post office would tell your mother you're not a known resident.
6. The local post office won't forward your mail to you when you move.
.....
7. If you saw a crime and called 911, they'd reply a week later with a form letter saying how you "really are important to us."
8. Every time you went shopping, you'd be kicked out of the store by a bouncer screaming, "WE'RE SORRY, THIS STORE IS TEMPORARILY UNAVAILABLE."
9. Whenever you traveled to other cities, people would see your license tag and laugh at you, behind your back.
10. You'd occasionally be sent home during your day by another bouncer telling you that the city has performed an illegal operation.
11. You'd not have any idea who your neighbors are, and most new arrivals would move in at night, stuff everyone's mailbox with garbage, and vacate before sun-up.
12. The administration would build a huge, state of the art park, and allow the kids to play there free, then suddenly start demanding money.
from IB Laffing
.....
" ... you haven't responded to ... his ... spams."
"The Internet is an amazing communications tool that's bringing the whole world together. I mean, you sit down to sign on to America Online in your hometown, and it's just staggering to think that at the same moment, halfway around the world, in China, someone you've never met is sitting at their computer, hearing the exact same busy signal that you're hearing."
--Dennis Miller from Clean Laffs
LAFAYETTE, Colo. (March 5) - George Doughty hung his latest hunting trophy on the wall of his Sportsman's Bar and Restaurant. Then he went to jail.
The problem was the trophy was Doughty's laptop computer.
He shot it four times, as customers watched, after it crashed once too often.
He was jailed on suspicion of felony menacing, reckless endangerment and the prohibited use of weapons.
"It's sort of funny, because everybody always threatens their computers," said police Lt. Rick Bashor, seconds before his own police computer froze at police headquarters.
Doughty was released Monday evening after spending a night in jail and is due in court Wednesday.
In police reports, Doughty said that he realized afterward that he shouldn't have shot his computer but at the time it seemed like the right thing to do.
from Lera
"Confused ostriches raised on farms are falling for their keepers, according to a researcher. "News Item
"A study found that the birds were directing their courtship rituals at humans rather than their own species."
Now if only they could find out why some guys drool over "Seven of Nine," and animae catgirls.
.....
"Just how much of a geek are you?" Find out in the "Geek-O-Meter"
"Pick an answer for each of the questions that follow and at the end we'll give you a detailed breakdown of your entire personality. But remember, you must answer truthfully or the snoopers from Microsoft will find out and rescind your XP license."
Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
from Clean Laffs
.....
When online relationships go too far.
Researchers are developing a "natural bandage" made from thin strans of platlette compounds- News Item
If needed, the bandage, "could be left there to promote healing and eventually be absorbed by the body, according to the researchers."
Absorbed by the body?
So would a kiddie bandage with cartoons over it turn into a tattoo that would result in frequent ribbings later on in high school locker rooms?
Some teachers at state universities get to know our students fairly well. One instructor told his communications class of his plans to propose marriage.
A student spoke up and said that he had recently asked his girlfriend to marry him as well.
"What was her answer?" the instructor asked.
"I don't know," the student replied. "She hasn't e-mailed me back yet."
from Clean Laffs
Scientists are talking about new designs of robots based on arthopods, specifically, cockroaches - News Item
They may take a while to work the bugs out though.
Scientist: "I've developed an invisibility suit."
Student: "You mean a suit that can make you invisible? Sweeet! How does it work?"
Scientist:" It's solar powered, so it can only start working out in the sun on a sunny day. It's activated by a switch on the belt."
Student: "Cool! Can I test it?"
Scientist: "Well ... here it is, but - "
Student: "Great! I'll try it right now."
Scientist: "Wait, you can't put it over your own clothes."
Student: "No problem, I'll put it on in the bathroom after getting naked. Then I'll go out to the park where all those lucious babes are, all waiting for me to put my hands on and feel all over.
Scientist: "Wait, I've had problems with turning it back off."
Student: "Later dude!"
Scientist: "(sigh) Oh well, he'll just have to find out for himself the suit won't make him invisible. Only the suit itself becomes invisible."
.....
"I know your CPU needs cooling, but ..."
There's a story about an MIT student who spent an entire summer going to the Harvard football field every day wearing a black and white striped shirt, walking up and down the field for ten or fifteen minutes throwing birdseed, blowing a whistle, and then walking off the field.
At the end of the summer, it came time for the first Harvard home football game, the referee walked onto the field and blew the whistle, and the game had to be delayed for a half hour to wait for the birds to get off of the field.
The guy wrote his thesis on this, and graduated.
from Clean Laffs
Q: How can you tell if a Redneck is Working in your Office?
A: The monitor is up on blocks.
from Clean Laffs
