Remember those classic sci-fi shows of future humans being small and big-headed from the continuing process of evelution. Well, this may not be the case. - Is human evolution finally over?
"For those who dream of a better life, science has bad news: this is the best it is going to get. Our species has reached its biological pinnacle and is no longer capable of changing.
"That is the stark, controversial view of a group of biologists who believe a Western lifestyle now protects humanity from the forces that used to shape Homo sapiens . "
Not everyone, however, agrees.
" 'Evolution goes on all the time. You don't have to intervene. It is just that it is highly unpredictable. For example, brain size has decreased over the past 10,000 years. A similar reduction has also affected our physiques. We are punier and smaller-brained compared with our ancestors only a few millennia ago. So even though we might be influenced by evolution, that does not automatically mean an improvement in our lot.' "
If this is the effect of centuries of hard work on the farm, I hate to imagine what effect all those couch potatoes will have on human evolution.
Feudalism
You have two cows.
Your lord takes some of the milk.
Fascism
You have two cows.
The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.
Communism
You have two cows.
You must take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.
Capitalism
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
Enron
You have two cows.
You borrow 80% of the forward value of the two cows from your bank then buy another cow with 5% down and the rest financed by the seller on a note callable if your market cap goes below $20B at a rate 2 times prime. You now sell three cows to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at a 2nd bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more and this transaction process is upheld by your independent auditor and no Balance Sheet provided with the press release that announces that Enron as a major owner of cows will begin trading cows via the internet site COW (cows on web). I am sure you now fully understand what happens.
from Comedy on Tap
How would Klingons use computers? Var'aq - A Warrior's Programming Language
" ... I try to imagine what Klingon hacker culture is like based on what's known about Klingon culture in general. Most men are warriors at heart, seemingly taking little heed of home life or those things that do not contribute to honor. One assumes a rough-and-ready, make-do attitude that assumes that bigger-better-faster is at best a waste of time. A Klingon warrior might love to play Quake once in a while (but wouldn't admit it due to a lack of real blood), but would most likely see the 1GHz Athlon in the box being devoted to realtime, near-photorealistic slamming of texture-mapped polygons to be a dishonorable waste of computer resources. Far better, when you need power, to string a bunch of processors together Beowulf-style, yes?"
from the Daily Illuminator
Scientists in England are developing a computer that would guide users to the nearest pub. The wearable device is about the size of a watch, and provides the exact distance to the nearest watering hole...
... And on the way home, the computer even crashes...
Comedy on Tap
There once was a girl named Miss Bright,
who could travel much faster than light.
She left one day,
in an Einsteinian way,
and came back on the previous night.
from Clean Laffs
Deflecting incoming asteroids - did anyone else think of it?
from the webmasters Dad
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Priceless Knowledge
There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 25 years, he happily retired.
Several years later his company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multi-million dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine fixed, but to no avail.
In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past. The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the huge machine.
At the end of the day he marked a small x in chalk on a particular component of the machine and proudly stated, "This is where your problem is". The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again.
The company received a bill for $20,001 from the engineer for his service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges.
The engineer responded briefly: One chalk mark .. ..... ..... $1 Knowing where to put it ..... $20,000
from Jokes 4 U
Undocumented Windows Errors, Part 1
*WinErr: 001 Windows loaded - System in danger
*WinErr: 002 No Error - Yet
*WinErr: 003 Dynamic linking error - Your mistake is now in every file
*WinErr: 004 Erronious error - Nothing is wrong
*WinErr: 005 Multitasking attempted - System confused
*WinErr: 006 Malicious error - Desqview found on drive
*WinErr: 007 System price error - Inadequate money spent on hardware
*WinErr: 008 Broken window - Watch out for glass fragments
from Coffeebreak
The Top Signs That Your Net Relationship Is Over
1. All of a sudden, she's typing in a different font.
2. Instead of hearing that lovely "You've Got Mail" statement when you use America Online, you hear "You Just Got Dumped!"
3. Your connection to his server is constantly refused.
4. You get a Dear John E-mail...Your name is Fred.
5. They no longer have access to a computer due to a recent parole.
6. She starts ending each sentence with only 1 exclamation mark instead of the usual 3!!!
7. She tells you that she's been working a lot. You think it's a professional job; it turns out that she was responsible for the decorations at her Jr. High prom!!
8. During an intimate moment in a chat room, she reveals herself to be GRANDMA!!
from Jokes 4 U
Researchers announced they have cloned a kitty - Texas researchers clone cat
Those Copycats
In a highway accident near the town of Cilbert, a truck full of computer equipment overturned and spilled its contents.
And I thought my computer could crash.
January 15, 2002 - After a five-day outage, Microsoft fixed a technician's error Tuesday, allowing Windows users to once again access critical operating system updates on the company's Web site. news article .
"That was planned,... It was a test of the Microsoft No Patch Access system. Went perfectly. No one was able to download anything." (satirewire.com)
Online friends finally meeting in person ...
Netscape Technical Support Folly
Tech: Internet Technical Support this is so-and-so speaking. May I have your username please?
Female Customer: Yes I want to speak to the person in charge immediately!
Tech: Speaking. What can I do for you?
Female Customer: I want to complain about the pornographic bookmarks your company put in my web browser!
Tech: We didn't put any pornographic bookmarks in your web browser.
Female Customer: Oh yes you did! I'm looking at them right now!
(Tech remembers the Netscape history list and grins to himself)
Tech: Where exactly are these "bookmarks" located?
Female Customer: In Netscape!
Tech: And where exactly in Netscape would that be?
Female: In that little list that comes down when you click the little down arrow!
Tech: The one right above the Net Search button?
Female Customer: Yes that one!
Tech: Miss, that's the Netscape history list. Netscape keeps the past ten links you typed in that box. The only way to put an address in that box is for someone to physically sit at your computer and type in a web address.
Female Customer: Well I certainly didn't type in those X rated web addresses!
Tech: Well somebody did. Who else has access to your computer, and uses the Internet?
Female Customer: Just me and my husband!
(Several seconds of silence pass....Hey! I wasn't going to say it!)
Female Customer:........oh............. OOOH! ... Thank you.
(She quickly hung up)
from Jokepro.com
If the government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on July 16, 1969, make it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles?
from Jokeman
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SURF REPORT- File-sharing service Aimster has been renamed Madster following an order to relinquish its Internet domain names to America Online Inc. ...
... It had a better ring than "Bankruptster"...
Comedy on Tap
"Cat Scan"
Not so much a joke, but interesting ...
On 8.02pm on February 20 this year will be an historic moment in time. It will not be marked by the chiming of any clocks or the ringing of bells, but at that precise time something will happen which has not occurred for 1,001 years and will never happen again.
As the clock ticks over from 8.01pm on Wednesday, February 20, time will, for sixty seconds only, read in perfect symmetry 2002, 2002, 2002, or to be more precise - 20:02, 20/02, 2002. The last time there was such a symmetrical pattern was long before the days of the digital watch and the 4-hour clock - at 10.01am on January 10, 1001. And because the clock only goes up to 23.59, it is something that will never happen again.
from William J. Lee
What's the old saying? - "Timing is everything."
.....
In the news, It's been revealed that Microsoft's latest version of it's Media Player keeps track of the songs and movies you play through it - News item .
Gates says the information would not be made available to anyone requesting it, marketers, police, etc., but A Windows Media executive refused to rule it out when asked.
Reminds me of those cartoons of a grinning politician - "Trust me."
In the news - "Teen idol Lance Bass, a singer for pop group 'NSYNC, is in talks with Russian officials for a trip to outer space ..." - News item
"Where no other boy band has gone before."
.....
BONUS JOKE -
At the International Space Station, two American astronauts took a space walk for over six hours ... to photograph dents and dings on the station's exterior...
... For what, insurance purposes?...
from Comedy on Tap
In the news - A new rinse promises to prevent dental decay for life. The secret? Bacteria.
This new idea is still being checked for bugs.
.....
Scott Charney, formerly with PricewaterhouseCoopers' Cybercrime Prevention and Response Practice, has been hired by Microsoft as a new computer security expert. Charney will act as the chief security strategist, and plans to start work April 1...
... Now THERE'S a start date that inspires confidence...
Comedy on Tap
"...he types better than he looks ."
Events in the news ...
" Europa, Jupiter's smallest moon, might not only sustain but foster life according to the research of a University of Arizona professor." Jovian Tidings May Stir And Heat Up Life On Europa
Looks like nature told this moon to "get a life."
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First was road rage, then air rage, and now - Net Rage
" 'It's not surprising we feel frustrations with the Net more than anything else,' said Helen Petrie, professor of human computer interaction at London's City University. 'You have no comeback with a machine, no one to talk to, even to shout at.' "
There's one thing, an "off" button.
'Web TV' not looking so good ....
Suppose Microsoft agreed to split up in two roughly equal companies. Would one keep the old name and handle the programs and the new one take care of just the patches - "Patchsoft."