Remember the "Rubik's cube" from the late 70's/early 80's. It's been making a slow comeback of sorts, and now you can even do the puzzle online - Rubik's Cube Online
Probably took some of us that long to solve the darn thing in the first place.
site found on Coffeebreak
"Japan's latest innovation: a remote-control roach "
One can have some real fun as unsuspecting folk try to squash it.
found on the "Daily Illuminator"
SWIPED OUT: an ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
from "Clean Laughs"
The Top 20 Reasons Dogs Don't Use Computers
20. Can't stick their heads out of Windows '95.
19. Fetch command not available on all platforms.
18. Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side.
17. Too difficult to "mark" every web site they visit.
16. Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "You've Got Mail."
..........
15. Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating.
14. Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they're browsing www.pethouse.com instead of working.
13. Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG Frisbee.
12. Not at all fooled by Chuckwagon Screen Saver.
..........
11. Still trying to come up with an "emoticon" that signifies tail-wagging.
10. Oh, but they WILL... with the introduction of the Microsoft Opposable Thumb.
9. Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome
8. 'Cause dogs ain't GEEKS! Now, cats, on the other hand...
7. Barking in next cube keeps activating YOUR voice recognition software.
6. SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test.
..........
5. SIT and STAY were hard enough, GREP and AWK are out of the question!
4. Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to maneuver.
3. Annoyed by lack of newsgroup alt.pictures.master's.leg.
2. Butt-sniffing more direct and less deceiving than online chat rooms.
Éand the Number 1 Reason Dogs Don't Use Computers...
1. TrO{gO Dsog[M,bgoNe HyAqR4tDc TgrOo TgYPmE WeIjTyH P;AzWqS,.
(1. Too Doggoned Hard To Type With Paws.)
from "Coffeebreak"
"A team of scientists hopes to improve the sight of blind people by implanting proteins from spinach leaves into their eyes. When light falls on the proteins, it creates an electrical voltage, which could stimulate healthy regions of the retina and produce meaningful images, they say." - News article
Break out the "Popeye" theme music.
VULCAN NERVE PINCH: The taxing hand position required to reach all the appropriate keys for certain commands. For instance, the arm reboot for a Mac II computer involves simultaneously pressing the Control Key, the Command Key, the Return Key, and the Power On Key.
from Clean Laffs
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the heck out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
from Clean Laffs
Feel Smarter Than Your Computer!
Want to feel smarter than your computer for just a few minutes?
Open a new word processing document. Type:
Marry hat hey lid tell lam, ids fleas woes wide has know.
Good. Now, go ahead and click the Spell Check icon.
from Cofeebreak
Robot slugkiller ready to roll
"Farmers could soon be relying on robots to stop their crops being eaten up by hungry slugs.
Researchers are working on a robot that can patrol fields looking for slugs and scooping up any it finds.
The creators of the robot hope it will eventually be able to recharge its batteries using power generated from the decaying bodies of the slugs it has caught."
Question is, what happens if it runs into salt?
In the wake of the 9-11 terror bombing, numerous little internet games have poped up, offering a quick way to relieve frustration.
Bin Laden the Game Is one such game, without the profanity, and most of the gore most do.
A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. "How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
"For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge."
from Clean Laffs
A car that runs on fermenting organic kitchen and garden waste - news article
In other words, it runs on polutants instead of making them.
"Spurred reportedly by a fan's jokey email campaign, more than 10,000 Britons put down George Lucas' mythical Star Wars religion as their own, forcing the government's Office for National Statistics to classify "Jedi Knight" as a separate category in compiling the statistics." Jedis Boom in Britain
"ÊÊForget about King Arthur and the knights of the round table. A new Force is spreading through the onetime kingdom of Camelot. "
"Lucasfilm did not return phone calls seeking comment."
found on the Daily Illuminator
"Apparently a new galaxy is being formed or something. But what it is, is they have discovered a huge cloud of dust out there. And scientists believe if they could look and see under the dust ...
they would find an enormous exercise bicycle." -Bill Maher
from Clean Laffs
BEFORE THE INTERNET
Before THE INTERNET group sex meant the risk of STD's.
Now you run the risk of getting Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.
.....
Before THE INTERNET your husband sent flowers for your B-day, Valentines, etc.
Now He shows his affection by sending you roses from a virtual florist, and justifies it by stating, "They will never die.".
.....
Before THE INTERNET you dined out.
Now you scrape last nights meal from your keyboard.
.....
Before THE INTERNET teachers could go to the library, look inside an Encyclopaedia and tell if you had plagiarized the hell out of it.
Now they can surf the web for years and still have no clue.
.....
Before THE INTERNET people would prejudge you by your physical appearance and /or abilities.
Now they listen to what you have to say before they make a decision.
from Comedy on Tap
A Japanese firm is launching a metal-free bra in response to tighter airport security procedures worldwide following last month's attacks on the United States, Kyodo news agency reported Friday. Triumph International (Japan) Ltd said it had decided to develop the bra because the tiny metallic fasteners on more usual brassieres had been triggering alarms on airport security detectors, Kyodo said.
... "Looks like we'll have to frisk her too... Fortieth one today"
from Rodney Lee's Lame Jokes
Star Wars vs. Star Trek - THE INVASION
"An Imperial task force recently encountered a strange, alien starship while engaging Rebel insurgents in the Outer Rim. This starship was determined to have entered our galaxy by travelling through a wormhole which links our galaxy to another galaxy. We have not yet determined precisely where this other galaxy is, but our cartographers assure us that it is 'far, far away'."
"This galaxy is inhabited by a variety of species, with names like 'Klingon', 'Romulan', 'Borg', 'Tholian', 'Cardassian', and many others. However, we are most intrigued by a small organization called 'The United Federation of Planets' because its dominant species is human . Ordinarily, this revelation would be shocking enough, but we have also discovered that one of them, named George Lucas, was somehow able to produce astonishingly accurate video depictions of our civilization."
"... we shall accomplish the unprecedented: the conquest of a new galaxy. A galaxy bereft of strong leadership. ... It is time for you to bring civilization to the uncivilized, backward savages who live in this 'Federation'. Let the slaughter begin!"
The Star Trek Universe sounds neat, but would you really want to live there as an ordinary citizen? Looking at the Economics of the Federation , the place seems, should we say it, almost communist .
(part of Star Wars vs. Star Trek - THE INVASION )
If you bought $1000 worth of Nortel stock one year ago, it would be worth $49 today. If you bought $1000 worth of Miller beer one year ago, drank all the beer, and traded in the cans for the nickel deposit, you would have $79 today.
My advice to you is to start drinking...
from Clean Laffs
A seminar on time travel will be held in two weeks ago...
from Rodney Lee's Lame Jokes
The Society for the Prevention of Plate Tectonics dedicated to the prevention of plate movements on planets. We attempt to use technology or any other useful means to prevent continental drift and the associated disastrous earthquakes and volcanoes.
Our fearless and dedicated troops will travel anywhere to accomplish the goal of a stable planet where any movement of the earth is strictly caused by your own excesses.
"Worried about DNA theft and unauthorized clones? A San Francisco firm says it can help Ñ by "copyrighting" your DNA. " Copyright Your DNA
So how would one go about violating this copyright?
"Here at First National, you're not just a number - you're two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash, and another number." --Unknown
from "Clean Laffs
Solitary summer of computer children - BY ALEXANDRA FREAN, SOCIAL AFFAIRS CORRESPONDENT
"CHILDREN are finding it harder to cope with the return to school after summer because they spend too much time alone during the holidays, a new study claims.
"The attractions of computer games, and the fears of their parents about allowing them out to play unsupervised, mean that that they have to relearn basic social skills when they return to the classroom. The result is an increase in antisocial and disruptive behaviour during the first few weeks of term. Headteachers say that childrenÕs ability to play and socialise has deteriorated in recent years." - Newsarticle
I'm not sure this increase is the cause of such behavior, as opposed to the result ...
"Hey ya little punk, gimme yo' lunch money!" WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!