Recently, scientists detected traces of water vapor around a distant star.
Don't expect flying saucers to drop by from there, though. The star is dying and in an expanding "red giant" phase, the water vapor probably from a ring of comets it's vaporizing.
However, with this discovery of water out there, the idea of extraterrestrial life is looking less and less "all wet."
On Tuesday night, July 31, the "Code Red" Internet Worm was supposed to be re-infecting web domains everywhere, slowing the 'net to a crawl.
But 24 hours later, little if anything seems to have happened. Possibly because over a million users downloaded a needed "patch" for Windows 2000, the system vulnerable to the worm.
Guess the eary bird did not get the worm after all.
"A study released today (August 1) predicts global human population will peak at 9 billion by the year 2070 and then begin to decline." People may finally be nearing their limit.
In another study, headaches have been steadily on the rise with no sign of decrease.
The Writer
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define ÔgreatÕ he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
from Coffeebreak
- Tomb Raider: Chronicles (Mac)
Wow, first the movie- now this! The latest chapter in the Lara Croft saga has finally come for Mac users. Now you too can enjoy the further adventures of gaming's most popular gal. ...
Only this time, try not drool all over the keyboard.
from Game-Revolution.com
In the news, technicians are studying the anatomy of the boxfish in hopes of using the research to help design a more manuverable and faster submarine.
I dunno, studying a square sea creature to design a sub sounds "fishy" to me.
General Motors 98
Bill Gates is hanging out with the chairman of General Motors.
"If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50."
"Sure," says the GM chairman. "But would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?"
Coffeebreak
Science and Technology
Law of the Hydrodynamics: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
-- Camille Flammarion
The most popular labor-saving device is still money.
-- Phyllis George
The thing with high-tech is that you always end up using scissors.
-- David Hockney
Source: The Little Giant Encyclopedia of Toasts and Quotes
from Coffeebreak
This first week of August 2001, some renegade scientists announced they are almost ready to start human cloning.
Also this week, the working title for the next Star Wars film was announced: "Attack of the Clones."
Talk about bad timing.
The announced title for the next Star Wars film is "Attack of the Clones."
With a rather "B-movie" sounding title, one wonders what the clones are of ...
"Hiya! Meesa Jar-Jar Binks!"
SPike: ... nothing is as funny as a shredder... not for atleast the first 150 times you use it.
AK: I like to imagine my junk mail screaming as I throw it away...
"You may have just won one million- AIEEEEE!!!"
"Dear resident- YEEEAAAARRRRGGGG!!!"
"Order now for your fre- AAAHHHHHHH!!!"
"No, really! You may have just won- NOOOO!!! NOT THE SCISSORS!!!"
from "SPike" of Norway and "AK" on an online buliten board. Supposedly, one of the two bits of humor is from a Dave Barry joke.
Movie Facts
Although in the 20th century it is possible to fire weapons at an object out of our visual range, people of the 23rd century will have lost this technology.
Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
No-one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
Rodney Lee's Lame Jokes
With the debate over stem-cell research causing controversy, some researchers are studying how to prod unfertilized eggs to grow to produce stem cells. Researchers Working On Sperm-less Embryos
As a guy, somehow, this makes me feel uneasy.
Found this in a link sent to me about types of prostetic legs for athletes: "Several designs for sprinting, for example, include a curved foot orientation. Designed after the foot of the cheetah, this helps the athletes to propel themselves forward and move with more ease." picture
A cat-like artificial leg?
One can imagine a flying saucer landing for repairs in the wilderness, and the crew sees one of these athletes from a distance: "HUH?!! Somebody check the data on the locals again!"
web adress submitted by Edwin Ross Quantrall
TimeTraveler 1.02 from Microsoft
Microsoft has just released its update to TimeTraveler 1.0, the popular computer application that turns Pentium-based PCs into time machines.
The first version of TimeTraveler, Microsoft now concedes, was not without problems. Unhappy users from around the world flooded the support line with calls. "My son was trying to go back a week earlier to do his history final a second time," one unhappy father from Johannesburg reportedly complained, "and he ended smack dab in the middle of the Boer War. What key do I push do get him back?" A caller from Bristol grumbled that his wife had got stuck a few hours in the past. "Me an' the missus can't agree on tea-time anymore," he grumbled, "an' she throws out the Guardian before it even arrives. "
TimeTraveler 1.02 addresses the glitches that plagued the first release. The legions of women who lost technogeek partners to distant eras have been promised complementary copies of Widows '95.
But in addition to angry consumers, Microsoft has also received criticism from politicians and pundits for the effect of TimeTraveler on history books. At Senate hearings on Microsoft's domination of the time travel market, a photograph was produced showing a beer hall putsch in 1930s Munich, with what appears to be a grinning Bill Gates at the foot of Hitler. A Microsoft representative countered that employees and executives of the Seattle-based firm are free to time-travel like anyone else with the software. "To suggest this is some nefarious world-controlling thing on Bill's part is crazy," the Micromouthpiece testified. "Besides, he couldn't work with Goebbels."
In response to criticism, Microsoft has issued some tips with TimeTraveler 1.02. Here they are, from the release notes:
CHECK THE TIME. When installing TimeTraveler, make sure your computer clock is correctly set. Failure to do this will result in your immediately ending up a few seconds or minutes in the past or future, in a state of perpetual confusion like Jim from Taxi.
WATCH YOUR MOUTH. TimeTraveler uses BillzebubR, an occult algorithm developed in a Microsoft-IBM-Satan partnership. Do not grumble, cuss, or otherwise invoke the powers and principalities when installing TimeTraveler. You'll be smoked like a gnat on a bug zapper if you do.
MEMORIZE YOUR PASSWORD. When working with large intervals of time, remember that there may not be much of an information age at your destination. It's important to memorize the PowerWord, your registered incantation that will speed you back to the present. You don't want to end up running around a tar pit, hopelessly yelling your mother's maiden name with a velociraptor in hot pursuit.
DO NOT PESTER THE BABY JESUS. A popular destination for many Time travelers is Bethlehem, and it is not appropriate to make a scene around the manger. We suggest you pay some token amount in Roman currency to the innkeeper, and dress appropriately. There are some alarming passages showing up in the Bible regarding "the strange visitors from beyond Galilee, their heads anointed with visors, and possessed of much loudness and stretch pants."
BE CAREFUL WITH YOUR CAMCORDERS. Remember that these devices may look like weapons to people of the past, and a gentle request to 'say cheese' may result in a broadsword to the head.
CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF! Archaeologists will resent digging up the can of Pepsi you brought back in time, particularly if the can became the religious centerpiece of a newly unearthed Mayan temple.
DO NOT USE TIMETRAVELLER TO CHANGE HISTORY, even if it's just to travel back with a witty rejoinder for someone's cutting remark a few days before. Do not use TimeTraveler to cheat death, taxes, or Bill. Attempts to do any of the above will result in the termination of the TimeTraveler license agreement. And Microsoft will tell Satan to give you a hotfoot. So there!
from Coffebreak
Talk over "Attack of the Clones"
"People who dress up as hobbits have become the latest victims of a police crackdown on unconventional lifestyles in the Central Asian state of Kazakhstan." "... the Tolkienists ...are accused of being Satanists and conducting dark rituals." News article
They tried the Trekkie Klingon fans first, but got beat up. Hobbits are safer.
"The Vulcan Neck Pinch is not half as powerful as the Vulcan Groin Kick, but it's more politically correct."
- William White
from Clean Laughs
A helicopter was flying above Seattle when an electrical Malfunction disabled the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter's window. The pilot's sign said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After arriving safely, the copilot asked the pilot how the sign helped determine their position...
... The pilot responded, "I knew that they had to be in the Microsoft building because they gave me a technically correct, but completely useless answer."...
Rodney Lee's Lame Jokes
A modern mother is explaining to her little girl about pic- tures in the family photo album. "This is the geneticist with your surrogate mother and here's your sperm donor and your father's clone. This is me holding you when you were just a frozen embryo.
The lady with the very troubled look on her face is your aunt, she's the family genealogist."
from Clean Laffs
Computerized Math Whiz!
The gigantic computer took up a whole wall, dwarfing the two mathematicians standing before it. After much flashing and humming a slip of paper emerged from the vitals of the machine.
One mathematician, after studying it gravely, turned to the other and said with awe, "Do you realize that it would take four hundred human mathematicians a hundred years of calculations to make a mistake this big?"
from Coffeebreak
In A British newspaper: "Computer games are creating a dumbed-down generation of children far more disposed to violence than their parents, according to a controversial new study." - Computer games stunt teen brains
Of course, drugs are completely blameless.
(Reuters) - "Chinese scientists have successfully regrown dog bladder tissue on the back of a mouse" News Item
I heard the poor critter feels compelled to stop at fire hydrants for reasons unknown to it.
"Amid all the advances in genetic manipulation, the idea of combining the DNA of animals and humans has gone beyond the talking stage -- it's been attempted." - news item
The scientist involved int he 1996 experiement used his own cheek cells for the one-week experiment with a bovine egg cell.
How could he stand it? The very thought of my DNA in that would give me a cow.
"One thing about the speed of light...it gets here too early in the morning." --Unknown
from Clean Laffs
"Photon Torpedoes! Hurry! Hurry!"
IGN Sci-Fi drags a couple of the funnier skeletons out of the closet: "Take what we're about to show you, for example. One of our ad execs was looking through a clearance bin of old videos, and found a tape that had original series Star Trek bloopers and outtakes on them. After viewing them a couple times, we decided we had to put these up. Not only are they funny, some of the stuff has Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Bones, Nurse Chapel, Uhura, and everybody else doing things that they'd rather forget. Check 'em out!" Star Trek Bloopers and Outtakes
contributed by Kathy
The Stem Cell debate recently took on a new angle when it was revealed of the lines of stem cells approved for Federal funding, most had been mixed with mouse cells.
Be careful about letting one of these slip into the fertility clinic. That might give the old question, "Are you a man or a mouse?" a whole new twist.
The Ten Comandments of E-mail
1. Thou shalt include a clear and specific subject line.
2. Thou shalt edit any quoted text down to the minimum thou needest.
3. Thou shalt read thine own message thrice before thou sendest it.
4. Thou shalt ponder how thy recipient might react to thy message.
5. Thou shalt check thy spelling and thy grammar.
6. Thou shalt not curse, flame, spam or USE ALL CAPS.
7. Thou shalt not forward any chain letter.
8. Thou shalt not use e-mail for any illegal or unethical purpose.
9. Thou shalt not rely on the privacy of e-mail, especially from work.
10. When in doubt, save thy message overnight and reread it in the light of the dawn.
And, here's the "Golden Rule" of E-Mail:
That which thou findest hateful to receive, sendest thou not unto others.
from http://www.funone.com/2001/rm/10command/index.html sent by IB Laffing
In the news - "Scientists are developing super-tanks which would use powerful magnets to melt and destroy incoming missiles and shells. " 'Star Trek' shields to protect supertanks
Somehow, "The gears have jammed!" doesn't have the appeal of "I canna 'old it Cap'in!"
In the latest news from genetic engineering, Scientists Isolate 'Tender Steak' Gene in cattle.
No bull about it. For finding a "rare" gene with "medium" effort, the scientists are to be congratulated for a job "well done."
