The military is doing all kinds of research, including high-tech foods: news article /
Among the things being researched, "the scientists suggest soldiers could eat engineered food that would make them easily detectable to their comrades in the field. After ingesting candy bars containing special biomarkers, sensor-equipped snipers could identify friend from foe at great distances by detecting the biomarkers in the soldiers' breath or sweat. "
I thought to a degree, this could already be done. According to my friends in the Navy, nothing smells quite like a marine (just kidding to all you marine fans ;) )
The Food and Drug Administration and the National Academy of Sciences are conducting a study to review the safety of cloned livestock, assessing its effect on both the animals and the environment. Until its completion sometime next year, the FDA has asked that biotech companies keep the livestock out of the food chain...
... After all, we wouldn't want to eat anything unnatural along with all those artificial chemicals, additives, sweeteners and food preservatives ...
from Comedy on Tap
Believe it or not, TZ made a clean joke today. I was talking with TZ and the marketing manager about the popularity of the Sousa CD and I mentioned my reference to the movie THE MUSIC MAN in my column yesterday. Talk turned to Robert Preston (who played Prof. Harold Hill) and subsequently to the other roles Preston has played.
When the marketing manager said, "I loved him in THE LAST STARFIGHTER" I slapped my forehead.
"I completely forgot he played in that movie!" I exclaimed. "There were a lot of good characters in there. I particularly liked the lizard-man, Grig. That was a great make-up job for 1984."
"Dan O'Herlihy did a great job with that role." commented the marketing manager.
"Dan O'Herlihy?" I said. "I didn't know he was Irish."
"Yeah," interrupted TZ, "he didn't look Irish."
From "Clean Laughs"
Happy Fourth of July, and enjoy the fireworks.
Oops, forgot Califonria banned fireworks as unsafe after they decided laser light shows could do the job just as well, and now with the power blackouts, there's no shows at night at all.
Well, for everyone else, happy fireworks.
Windows Spell Checker
Eye halve a spelling chequer It came with my pea sea It plainly marques four my revue Miss steaks eye kin knot sea. Eye strike a key and type a word And weight four it two say Weather eye am wrong oar write It shows me strait a weigh. As soon as a mist ache is maid It nose bee fore two long And eye can put the error rite Its rare lea ever wrong. Eye have run this poem threw it I am shore your pleased two no Its letter perfect awl the weigh My chequer tolled me sew.
from Coffebreak
The lead scientist of a UFO cult that believes life on Earth was genetically engineered by visitors from outer space says she may go to court to protect her human cloning project from U.S. scrutiny: UFO Cult May Sue US FDA Over Human Cloning
"The Raelians, who are athiests, view cloning as the means for humankind to achieve eternal life ... "
Obviously, they haven't heard of the "tellomere" research, suggesting Dolly the cloned sheep, is aging faster then normal.
Gillian Anderson says she'll quit "The X-Files" after next season to spend more time with her six-year-old daughter...
... Or so the government would have you believe...
from Comedy on Tap
"When you are courting a nice girl, an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity."
-- Albert Einstein
from Coffeebreak
Ten years ago, a little critter named Sonic showed up on the Genesis and would go on to become one of the most recognized video game personalities of all time. Created by legendary developer Yuji Naka, Sonic was the very first platform mascot to rival Nintendo's Mario. ... He was also the very first video game character to be featured in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. *
"I'sa tella you, isa umili-ate'n ta be-sa beatin by-sa walkina pina-cushin."
* from article by Game-Revolution.com, contributed by Virginia
If there were computers in 1776:
Mr. Jefferson: Gentlemen, the summer grows hot, and it is essential that we complete this declaration of independence.
Mr. Franklin: Wait a minute, Thomas. I have to reboot here.
Mr. Jefferson: That's all right, Ben. We'll go on without you. Has everyone had a chance to look at the draft I posted yesterday?
Mr. Sherman: Not yet, Thomas, I've been having Notes replication problems.
Mr. Adams: Here, Roger, I brought a hard copy.
Mr. Sherman: Thanks. Saaaaay, nice font.
Mr. Adams: Do you like it? I downloaded it off Colonies Online just last week.
Mr. Jefferson: Gentlemen! There is work to be done. I fear our document will soon leak out.
Mr. Livingston: Too late, Thomas. There's already a bootleg circulating. I saw it posted on alt.georgeIII.sucks last night.
Mr. Franklin: @#$$%^$# General Protection Fault!
.....
Mr. Adams: Ben, you might try upgrading to Windows 75. It solved that problem for me.
Mr. Sherman: Thomas, the part here about the Acts of Pretended Legislation; have you considered using bullets to air out the text?
Mr. Jefferson: I can fix that easily enough. Drat! I've spilled candle wax on my keyboard again.
Mr. Adams: You know, Thomas, that wouldn't happen if you'd buy an active-matrix screen.
Mr. Franklin: Hard-disk failure?!? Aw, criminy!
Mr. Livingston: Are you sure it's "unalienable rights"? My spell checker recommends "unassailable".
Mr. Jefferson: Can we stick to the substance of the document, please? Shoot. Low battery. Anyone got a spare power cable?
Mr. Sherman: What have you got, a Toshiba? No, mine isn't compatible.
Mr. Franklin: Hello, PCs Philadelphia? What does it mean when the floppy drive buzzes? OK, I'll hold.....
Mr. Livingston: The "In Congress" part here at the top; have you thought about blowing that up really big and maybe centering it in 72 point Helvetica?
Mr. Jefferson: Not a bad idea. Aw, nuts! Word macro virus! I can't save the file.
Mr. Franklin: That's all right, Thomas. We can manage. Here, borrow my quill pen....
by Larry, from Comedy on Tap
Get this - Los Angeles is trying to put a property tax on satelites orbiting in space: L.A. County Targets Satellites in Out-of-This-World Tax Plan
in the words of the article, "... boldly going where no tax collector has gone before."
Ever since star-crossed Apollo 13, NASA has never given a manned spaceflight or its vessel the number 13. And never in its history has it launched a spaceship on Friday the 13th.
That nearly changed Friday July 13, 2001:: NASA Confronts Friday 13th Launch
Back to Apollo 13, the "original command module pilot, Thomas 'Ken' Mattingly, in fact, wanted a Friday the 13th launch so the mission patch could bear a picture of a black cat. As it turned out, Mattingly was exposed to German measles before liftoff and was bumped off Apollo 13.
"Now, that was luck."
Two adolescents walk down an alley:
"If Napster shuts down ... We'll have to get our music the old fashioned way!"
"Yeah, shoplifing."
from a cartoon by Kevin Siers
According to federal authorities, accused spy Robert P. Hanssen gave secret U.S. software to his Russian handlers that later went to terrorist Osama bin Laden, enabling bin Laden to monitor the efforts of U.S. officials to track him down...
... I hope it's Windows 98 - we'll have him in no time...
from Comedy on Tap
Monday night brought a spectacular light show to the U.S. Easter Coast as a fireball went across the sky and eventually burnt up, almost certainly a meteor.
But it's recieved only scant attention in the press (none I've noticed in the TV news, and only a paragraph in the paper).
Guess the press walked off when they found out it was a "meteor" story and not a "meater" one.
Noticed an article in the AOL news: "A British scientist studying heart attack patients says he is finding evidence that suggests that consciousness may continue after the brain has stopped functioning ..."
Heart attack paitents? He'd have a field day studying some turkeys I knew in high school.
Article by Sarah Tippit, Reuters
"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943
from wotch.com
An Abductee's request: Click here for the joke
"Oh, what a feeling ..."
Jodee Berry, a waitress at Hooters won a contest to see which waitress in the Palm Beach area could sell the most beer, the winner being promised a "Toyota."
.She won, and was led out to a parking lot where she saw she was the "winner" not of a Toyota, but a toy Yoda doll, the green guy from "Star Wars."
Berry says the manager howled with laughter when she saw what was going on. She is now suing the owners of the restaraunt on the grounds of "breach of contract and fradulent representation."
Thanks to the "toy Yoda" joke, looks like Hooters is feeling the power of the Force - Force of civil court.
based on an AP news article
The idea that a satelite overhead could be watching your every move is unerving enough, but this guy suggests much worse is yet to come : News article
"In 1992, Newsweek reported that 'with powerful new devices that peer through the skull and see the brain at work, neuroscientists seek the wellsprings of thoughts and emotions, the genesis of intelligence and language. They hope, in short, to read your mind.' In 1994, a scientist noted that 'current imaging techniques can depict physiological events in the brain which accompany sensory perception and motor activity, as well as cognition and speech.' In order to give a satellite mind-reading capability, it only remains to put some type of EEG-like-device on a satellite and link it with a computer that has a data bank of brain-mapping research."
Five cents says the most popular use of these machines will be requests by guys with girlfriends and wives.