Among the video games in development for the "Playstation 2" is "State of Emergency," where the player plays the part of a rioter against the World Trade Organization, scoring points for "busting windows, punching out a police officer ..., or attacking innocent bystanders. 'It is up to you to smash up everything and everyone.' "
"Now you too can be a rioting anarchist, and never leave the comfort of your living room."
From an article by the Associated Press
In MSNBC "Gimme a Break," a reporter stated one state legislature recently passed a bill banning businesses from housing video games in which the object is to cause harm to a human figure.
In the words of the reporter, "I didn't know there were any other kinds of video games."
The governor, who is showing more sense than the legislature, says he plans to veto it when it reaches his desk.
In the debate over intelligent life on other planets, occasionally someone objects on religious principles. Most of these arguments could be seen by some as a bit preachy, but not all of them ...
One stated that he didn't think God created life beyond Earth because humans alone were more than enough of a headache for Him.
While I disagree, I love this guy's sense of humor.
"China has already developed 47 transgenic plant species, cloned goats and transplanted genes into pigs, rabbits, sheep and cows, according to an official report:" China claims success in advanced cloning
Considering their population problem, it's probably safe to assume human cloning is not going to be pursued here.
from IBLaffing
A federal agency is developing a radar-like device that uses electromagnetic waves to peer through clothing and detect concealed weapons from up to 15 meters (50 feet) away: 'Weapon-scanner raises constitutional concern
"Hey lady, hold still for a moment."
Women are likely to be barred from any Russian mission to Mars because they would increase the "probability of conflicts" among the crew, says a Russian space official: No women on Mars trip
Never mind the crew, what about the "probability of conflict" with womens' groups?
FRENCH vineyards have come up with an answer for health-conscious but sober customers who want the benefits of wine without the hangover: wine pills .
Wine? In pill form? Doesn't that kinda "defeat the purpose?"
The New York Stock Exchange, the largest equity market system in the world, halted trading on all stocks Friday morning June 8 2001 because of problems with a software upgrade: Computer glitch temporarily halts NYSE .
I knew that latest version of "Windows" was buggy.
IF AOL BUILT CARS
1. The AOL car would have a TOP speed of 40 MPH yet have a 200 MPH speedometer.
2. The AOL car would come equipped with a NEW and fantastic 8-Track tape player.
3. The car would often refuse to start and owners would just expect this and try again later.
4. The windshield would have an extra dark tint to protect the driver from seeing better cars.
5. AOL would sell the same model car year after year and claim it's the NEW model.
.....
6. Every now and then the brakes on the AOL car would just "lock-up" for no apparent reason.
7. The AOL car would have a very plain body style but would have lots' of pretty colors and lights.
8. The AOL car would have only one door but it would have 5 extra seats for family members.
P. Anyone dissatisfied could return the car but must continue to make payments for 6 months.
10. If an AOL car owner received 3 parking tickets AOL would take the car from them.
.....
11. The AOL car would have an AOL Cell phone that can only place calls to other AOL car cell phones.
12. AOL would pass a new car law forbidding AOL car owners from driving near other car dealerships.
13. AOL car mechanics would have no experience in car repair.
14. Younger AOL car drivers would be able to make other peoples AOL cars stall just for fun.
15. It would not be possible to upgrade your AOL car stereo.
.....
16. AOL cars would be forced to use AOL gas that cost 20% more and gave worse mileage.
17. Anytime an AOL car owner saw another AOL car owner he would wonder, M/F/age?
18. It would be common for AOL car owners to divorce just to marry another AOL car owner.
19. AOL car owners would always claim to be older or younger than they really are.
20. AOL cars would come with a steering wheel and AOL would claim no other cars have them.
21. Every time you close the door on the AOL car it would say, "Good-Bye ."
from Rodney Lee's Lame Jokes
A "plan put forward by Dr Laughlin, and his colleagues Don Korycansky and Fred Adams" has an answer to global warming: nudge the planet farther from Sun by "carefully directing a comet or asteroid so that it sweeps close past our planet and transfers some of its gravitational energy to Earth. ... 'Earth's orbital speed would increase as a result and we would move to a higher orbit away from the Sun,' "
No offense guys, but I'm probably not alone in saying with our level of technology, this asteroids plan has rocks in it's head.
article by Robin McKie of The Observer
Saw this in the news: Mobile Phones May Foil Stealth Bombers
If there's a sudden demand for cellular from unfriendly Third World governments, you'll know the reason.
"Terrorize Your Telemarketer"
1. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Alternately, you can tell them, "I am so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..." When they try to get to the sell, just keep talking about your problems.
2. If the caller says he's John Doe from XYZ Company, ask him to spell his name. Then ask him to spell the company name. Then ask where it's located. Continue asking personal questions or questions about the company for as long as necessary.
3. This works great if you are male: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with Acme Aluminum Siding..." You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"
4. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my gosh! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the heck she could know you from.
5. Say "No," over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.
6. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you couldn't just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
7. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it's a telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream "Oh my God!" and hang up.
8. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their home phone number so you can call them back. When the Telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their home number, you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!" Hang up.
9. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
10. Tell them it is dinnertime, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speakerphone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.
11. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon. How's your momma?"
12. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write down every word
from IBLaffing
An article appropriate for Father's Day:
What happened when a teenager tried a dangerous experiment in his back yard: Tale of the Radioactive Boy Scout .
"These are conditions that regulations never envision," says Dave Minnaar, radiological expert with Michigan's Department of Environmental Quality. "It's simply presumed that the average person wouldn't have the technology or materials required to experiment in these areas."
FROM HARPER'S MAGAZINE BY KEN SILVERSTEIN
found on the Daily Illuminator
Things We Will Never See On Star Trek:
1. A redshirt sneaks down a deserted corridor, turns a corner, and suddenly has a surprise birthday party.
2. A redshirt manages to avoid the thrown knife, phaser shot, arrow, or whatever.
3. McCoy says, "On second thought, maybe I'm a carpenter and NOT a doctor after all."
4. Kirk meets a woman whom he's known for years but has never been involved with romantically.
5. An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface with the Enterprise's computer, only to find it has forgotten to bring the right leads.
.....
6. Sulu and Chekov get to do something interesting.
( does swinging a sword count? )
7. Kirk says, "Uhura, I'm frightened."
8. Kirk gets Court-martialed for violating the Prime Directive.
9. A Klingon says to a companion, "Hey, I like you."
10. Harry Mudd manages to turn a healthy profit selling something legal.
.....
11. An android race turns out to be completely friendly and not threatening or menacing in any way.
12. Some patient of McCoy's who's NOT a central character lives.
13. The crew of the Enterprise disperse, Sulu gets his own ship, and nobody suffers major emotional trauma.
Nobody but the diehard Trekies, anyway.
14. A major character dies and isn't resurrected.
15. The mysterious giant threatening object is on a direct course for some world other than Earth.
.....
16. McCoy says, "He'll live, Jim."
17. The Enterprise is involved in a bizarre time-warp experience which is in some way unconnected to the late 20th century.
18. Riker manages to avoid seeming like a William Shatner clone.
19. Somebody says, "You know, the Enterprise-D looks really stupid! What is it, a 'Close EncountersÓ reject?'
20. The captain has to make a difficult decision about a less-advanced people that is made a great deal easier by the Starfleet Prime Directive.
To be continued ...
from Coffeebreak
This legend, the truth of which is not necessarily related to its value, concerns a question in a physics degree exam at the University of Copenhagen: "Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper with a barometer."
One student replied: "Tie a long piece of string to the neck of the barometer, then lower the barometer from the roof of the skyscraper to the ground. The length of the string plus the length of the barometer will equal the height of the building."
This highly original answer so incensed the examiner that the student was failed immediately.
He appealed on the grounds that his answer was indisputably correct, and the university appointed an independent arbiter to decide the case. The arbiter judged that the answer was indeed correct, but did not display any noticeable knowledge of physics.
To resolve the problem it was decided to call the student in and allow him six minutes in which to provide a verbal answer which showed at least a minimal familiarity with the basic principles of physics.
For five minutes the student sat in silence, forehead creased in thought. The arbiter reminded him that time was running out, to which the student replied that he had several extremely relevant answers, but couldn't make up his mind which to use.
On being advised to hurry up the student replied as follows:
"Firstly, you could take the barometer up to the roof of the skyscraper, drop it over the edge, and measure the time it takes to reach the ground. The height of the building can then be worked out from the formula H = 0.5g x t squared. But bad luck on the barometer.
"Or if the sun is shining you could measure the height of the barometer, then set it on end and measure the length of its shadow. Then you measure the length of the skyscraper's shadow, and thereafter it is simple matter of proportional arithmetic to work out the height of the skyscraper.
"But if you wanted to be highly scientific about it, you could tie a short piece of string to the barometer and swing it like a pendulum, first at ground level and then on the roof of the skyscraper. The height is worked out by the difference in the gravitational restoring force T = 2 pi sq root(l / g).
"Or if the skyscraper has an outside emergency staircase, it would be easier to walk up it and mark off the height of the skyscraper in barometer lengths, then add them up.
"If you merely wanted to be boring and orthodox about it, of course, you could use the barometer to measure the air pressure on the roof of the skyscraper and on the ground, and convert the difference in millibars into feet to give the height of the building.
"But since we are constantly being exhorted to exercise independence of mind and apply scientific methods, undoubtedly the best way would be to knock on the janitor's door and say to him 'If you would like a nice new barometer, I will give you this one if you tell me the height of this building'."
The student was Niels Bohr, the only Dane to win the Nobel prize for Physics.
from "Clean Laughs"
A game has been developed by Double Twenty Productions for pet owners, or rather their cats: "Cyberpounce."
The game contains darting mice, buzzing flies, bubbling fish, flapping birds, and other images that cater directly to a cat's predator instincts, getting them starring at the screen and play-swatting at it.
Contrary to what might be expected, there is nothing about the cat catching the computer mouse.
Recently, a researcher has been suggesting that the Egyptians could have moved some of their huge stones used for building the Pyramids with the help of huge kites.
With lack of evidence however, more conventional historians have been essentially telling her to "go fly a kite."
TOP TWENTY SIGNS YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK JEDI.
20. You have heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."
19. You have used your lightsaber to open bottles of BudLight.
18. You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
17. Wookies are offended by your B.O.
16. You have used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.
.....
15. You have used the force in conjunction with fishing.
14. Your father said to you (in a redneck voice), "Shoot, son come on over to the dark side...it'll be a real hoot."
13. You have had your R2 unit use its self-defense shock to get the barbecue grill to light.
12. You have fantasized about Princess Lea wearing plaid.
11. You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.
.....
10. You think that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.
9. Your business cards read "Cletus the Jedi Master".
8. You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with redwood deck.
7. You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene.
6. You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.
.....
5. Your Y-wing fighter has a bumper sticker that says "My other fighter is an X-wing".
4. You know Ewoks squeal like pigs because you have mud-wrestled with them.
3. You use your R2 unit as a beer coaster.
2. When your sister wears her metallic bikini, you insist she travels by clinging to you while swinging on a rope.
1. You hear..."Luke, I am your father...and your uncle!"
contributed by Kathy, from her newphew Jimmy - http://www.geocities.com/gravediggersmurf
In the news, someone's trying to use genetic engineering to make a better cat, or rather one nobody's alergic to.
"Transgenic Pets," a tiny startup bio-tech company with some help from the University of Conneticut, is "confident by 2003 we'll be able to produce an allergin-free cat" through genetic engineering and cloning research yet to be developed. The single gene that causes allergies in people has been known for years, however, and "available evidence suggests the protein is not really needed by the cat."
Legally, there's little that can stop them as it's not a safety threat to modify a small pet, and with a population of people with cat allergies, "He's got a compelling business case."
It would seem both researchers and investors find this project the cat's meow.
news article by Andrew Pollack, New York Times