In the news, it was revealed theat the Pentagon spent $25,000 in "Star Trek" type teleportation research.
"Beam me up Scotty, there's no inteligent life in here"
How to smash a computer - BBC article on weird computer mishaps.
Selective breeding has supposedly resulted in domesticated turkeys being so big, they're unable to reproduce naturally.
Now just how does something like that happen?
You know it's time to turn off the computer when ...
1) You forgot how to work the TV remote control.
2) You see something funny and scream, "LOL, LOL!"
3) You meet the mailman at the curb and swear he said YOU'VE GOT MAIL.
4) You sign off and your screen says you were on for 6 days and 45 minutes.
5) You fall asleep, but instead of dreams you get IMs.
.....
6) You buy a laptop and a cell phone so you can have AOL in your car.
7) Tech support calls YOU for help.
8) You beg your friends to get an account so you can "hang out".
9) You get a second phone line just to call out for pizza.
10) You purchase a vanity car license plate with your screen name on it.
.....
11) You say "he he he he" or "heh heh heh" instead of laughing.
12) You say "SCROLL UP" when someone asks what it was you said.
13) You sneak away to your computer when everyone goes to sleep.
14) You talk on the phone with the same person you are sending an instant message to.
15) You look at an annoying person off-line and wish that you had your ignore button handy.
.....
16) You sit on AOL for 6 hours for that certain special person to sign on.
17) You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.
18) .....You end your sentences with..... three or more periods.......
19) You've gone to an unstaffed AOL room to give tech support.
20) You're on the phone and say BRB.
makemesmile.com from IBLaffing
"There is a whole generation out there who, between ATM cards and credit cards, don't even know what cash looks like. You take out a wad of bills these days, and you might as well be pulling out beaver pelts to pay for that pizza."
Dennis Miller, from "Clean Laffs"
If Bill Gates funded a church"
from "mashby" on "Freaking News"
"Sodium Party" What happens if you throw that stuff in water?
from the "Daily Illuminator"
The much hyped "Polar Express," which was supposed to be the big Christmas movie of 2004, is turning out to be something of a dud, at least financially. Despite all the effort made on computer animation, reviews have been mixed and fewer people than hoped are seeing it.
Maybe they never saw reports like this, "The Uncanny Alley," suggesting making super-lifelike animations (and robots) may not be such a good idea?
from ides@sunflower.com "False Advertising"
from SkyLioness
"The Mars rover mysteriously experienced a slight power boost"
from Marmoe
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from "Janus Bach"
"A Florida scientist has developed a "brain" in a glass dish that is capable of flying a virtual fighter plane and could enhance medical understanding of neural disorders such as epilepsy." News item
"The 'living computer' was grown from 25,000 neurons extracted from a rat's brain and arranged over a grid of 60 electrodes in a Petri dish."
Rat brain cells? Maybe they should have had it run mazes.
"A photograph of President and Mrs. Bush featured in online election coverage by AOL Time Warner companies uses a graphic slur in the coding of the picture." - News Item
"A spokesman for CNN, Matt Furman, said the network had nothing to do with the slur. 'It was an image produced by an employee of another company,' he told WND. 'We didn't know anything about it and had nothing to do with it. ...' "
Suuuuuuurrrrrrre.
In the news, some scientists are wondering "can a little radiation be good for you?"
I dunno. Supposedly a little liquor is also good for you, but many when they have some tend to overdo it.
Unwise Microwave Oven Experiments
from Lera
Is everybody geared up for Election Day? Good! Personally I don't like to talk politics because people tend to get hot under the collar around certain subjects. Certain topics you should always avoid in polite company are politics, religion, sports and whether Star Trek the Original Series is better than Star Trek the Next Generation.
from Joe, Clean Laffs
from "tragluk" on "Freaking News"
1999 - Happy Y2K (Pay no attention to the evil laughter from your computer). October , November, December
2000 - Y2K arrives, with the hackers, e-mail viruses, and Florida's "butterfly ballot." January, February , March, April , May , June , July , August , September , October , November , December
2001 - The first undisputed year of the 21st Century, with tributes to Arthur C. Clarke, California power shortages, "Ginger," and dealing with 9-11. January , February , March , April , May , June , July , August , September , October , November , December
SPECIAL - Bin-Laden Humor - Games and jokes poking fun at "The Evildoer."
2002 - Send in the clones to watch "Clones" January , February , March , April , May , June , July , August , September , October , November , December
2003 - Hi-tech humor is more than a match for The Iraqi Information Minister. January , February , March , April , May , June , July , August , September , October , November , December
2004 - "10th planetoid" Sedna "S'alright," the twin Mars rovers, and SpaceShip One - January , February , March , April , May , June , July , August , September , October
Humourous and otherwise entertaining Sites
Daily cartoons from Phil Ryder at thefunnypages.com
...
(found on the Daily Illuminator )
You've all seen it before in one form or another, the dreaded 404 - File not found message. Most are just simply plain and annoying, but one site's found some that stand out: 404 Research Lab
For those of you who can't get enough of Dr. McCoy, here's a sound file for you. Click here to hear Bones give various renditions of "He's dead Jim."
Contributed by Halfpipe7
Runescape - a great online game. Like "Everquest," except the basic version is free. Great graphics, great action and variety, and as something's always being added or updated, there's always something new.
Runescape Tip The site for general info, hints, and guides about the Runescape MORPG.
Miniclip.com - A site full of games, some downloadable.
WeLoveTheIraqiInformationMinister.com - "This site is a coalition effort of bloodthirsty hawks and ineffectual doves united in admiration for Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, Iraqi Minister of Information (currently on administrative leave)."
Mosquito Game from Kathy
Remember the "Rubik's cube" from the late 70's/early 80's. It's been making a slow comeback of sorts, and now you can even do the puzzle online - Rubik's Cube Online - Probably took some of us that long to solve the darn thing in the first place.
site found on Coffeebreak
Official Rube Goldberg site Webpage devoted to the cartoonist noted for his drawings of humorously complicated machines for simple tasks.
Living With Your Computer "Living With the Mess We Call Computers" columns of advice given in an amusing manner.
Click Here for The Dialectizer A funny translator site parody by Samuel Stoddard "Convert English to ... well, you'll see."
Contributed by IB Laffing
In the GURPS Daily Illuminator , I found something mildly amusing called the Web Page Mangler , which takes the concept of translation programs making some amusing results, and expands on it. Depending on what it is, text can be affected very little, or a lot.
Rinkworks' Computer Stupidity , "a large collection of stories and anecdotes about clueless computer users."
Jose's Humor Corner "The Lighter Side of Programming"
Star Wars Spoofs - A website with several animated shorts parodying various Star Wars scenes.
suggested by Alqua Kalina
The Laughlab , a British study in humor.
Bil Gates Net Worth Page A funny way of using statistics to measure "The Gates'" wealth.
"If you have any really stupid spam to send along, hit me off and make sure the subject line says something like 'Spam forward for your web page.' " Please Spam Me
selectsmart.com "The Internet's biggest collection of selectors. Decision-making based upon your preferences." A collection of those zany internet "which XXXX are you?" quizzes.
*New* AD&D Players Handbook the 2nd Edition rules of D&D put online.
"Which D&D Character are you?" from "Neppyman" Find out what type of character your personality suits.
And once you've figured out your type of character ... What are your D&D stats? Find out how your "real world" self would measure up on "D&D" satistics. contributed by Alqua Kalina
Tech Support - There's a five minute recording of a stand-up comedy routine that came with this cartoon and it was so funny, neither I nor the lady who sent it to me would shut it off until it finished.
"The Bastard Operator From Hell" (PG) "In desk space, no one can hear your files scream."
Totally Absurd Inventions - the wackiest of the Patent Office.
"Drew Curtis' fark.com" - "Links to the day's strangest, silliest and scariest news stories posted on the Web, with message boards inviting users to comment. Lots of fun." from TIME 50 Best Websites (CAUTION, not all are clean)
And after some of what this page's links show, not to mention certian comments on the buliten board, this site needs a prayer: (not a joke, but cute) - Online Angel
Link Exchanges
JokePro.com - " 'cause amateurs ain't funny."
Kickgranny.com : "... a modest directory of joke and humor related web-sites." (caution, not all are clean). This site has a link exchange with us.
If anyone sees a joke here that they would prefer removed, please contact me